How naive I was. I thought that once CJ was shaved, we could start from scratch in terms of grooming and, after a few months, would be able to trim her ourselves with no problems whatsoever. I forsaw a hassle-free future, a chilled out dog and no need to buy a batch of chicken if grooming was required. However since CJ was shaved, Helen and I (mostly Helen) have faced a fresh heap of problems.
There are benefits of having a hairy dog. They don’t moult, they are warm on a cold evening and they can double as a pillow. However when they like to play in rivers and mud, there is an unfortunate side-effect – mats.
So while sitting down to watch the Jubilee Concert, we discovered CJ had a massive tick on her front leg. We assumed she must have picked it up whilst running around up on The Downs earlier, but after a quick browse on the Internet, it was clear we had to remove it.
So it’s a Bank Holiday Weekend and Helen and CJ are back in the house with rather big news. CJ is officially in season. In layman’s terms, she is on her first period which means blood (potentially) everywhere. On top of that, as she is quite a furry dog, the blood is matting certain parts of her undercarriage which means that, despite CJ’s emotions being all over the place, we also have to trim, cut and groom her.
“You’re back!”
So for the last couple of weeks, we’ve been away on holiday in the US (it was lovely, thank you for asking) and during that time we left CJ with the people that run the local puppy classes. It’s a lovely setup – CJ gets her own cabin with a sofa, bed and 24/7 Radio 2. She also has a massive garden to run and play in, complete with numerous balls and toys.
Now she’s back at home (well, not currently – more on that later) to where the garden is barely the size of a box room.
It seems that while our absence has made her grown fonder (and wider), she also appears to be needier and whinier. As I left for work the other day, she seemed determined to follow me despite being previously been used to this daily occurrence. As I left the house, I could hear her moaning in dismay while clawing at the front door. Well, I am very miss-able.
However, she has now moved again to a place where she will be no doubt be showered with attention.
Helen has got a new job outside of Bristol, so for a large portion of the week CJ and her will be staying at her mother’s in Swindon. This means CJ will be showered with adoration and treats and it means I get a dog free house.
The thing is while it is now tidier, less muddy and noticeably free of ‘dog smell’, it is quieter. Too quiet. Oh well, I’ll just have to up the volume on the surround sound.
The last time I ‘trimmed’ the dog, it was a nightmare. It took ages, hair went everywhere and she hated me as a result. This time, I decided to take a different approach. Instead of using the noisy trimmers, I opted for the stealthy scissors. The result? A much tidier dog.
Ah loldogs. The inevitable backlash to the domination of lolcats where an image or photograph of a cat is combined with idiosyncratic and grammatically incorrect text intended to cause great mirth. Let’s face it. Cats have had their time – now it is time for dogs to rise… namely as they are now flying helicopters.
