Stop Whining And Go To Sleep!

How do you make a puppy shut up and go to sleep? Well, I’m reliably informed that sleeping pills, whiskey and chocolate do the trick, but there is every chance they will not wake up again… so that’s out. That is the problem facing myself and Helen. Well, actually it is the problem facing Helen. It seems that even the whining and pitiful barking of a 10 week year old puppy cannot stop me from falling asleep. Score.

For a week, we’ve had CJ sleeping at the end of our bed and twice a night (it could have been once, but I was asleep so I don’t really know…), Helen has gotten up and let her out in the garden so she can do her business.

However times must change. I don’t want CJ in our bedroom forever. Quite frankly it’s unnerving waking up and finding her staring at me as is the middle-of-the-night toe nibbling. Also, it’s off-putting… if you know what I mean. So from the beginning of this week, we have been trying to get her to sleep in her crate (Helen’s crating training – I’m still not sure what this is) in the kitchen. She doesn’t like it. At all.

First there’s the high-pitched whining – it’s sounds like the noise a child starts to make when they’ve dropped their ice cream on a summer day. This is followed by moaning as she realises she can’t get out of the kitchen and must choose to sleep on the kitchen floor or inside her crate. To be fair, it’s the kind of pitiful noises I make when I want attention.  Then there’s the barking which, as she’s ten weeks old, is quite lame but when you combine all three, it is quite, quite heartbreaking…

Then I fall asleep and fail to care any more.

However Helen tells me that getting up and going downstairs to sleep on the sofa in order to stop CJ from disturbing the neighbours is quite tiring.

I can believe it. Thank your God, I don’t have to do it.

Oh and she’s still biting my ankles.

On the plus side, she is adorable when she lies on her back and begs me to scratch her belly. However this moment is shattered when she then opts to bite my ankles and toes again. Repeatedly.

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About Timon Singh

Timon Singh lives in Bristol, England with his girlfriend Helen Harfield. He is a graduate of Liverpool University where he received a degree in Social and Economic History. He is currently a Creative Copywriter and does freelance work for Den of Geek and Inhabitat. An avid film geek, he can often be found on his sofa basking in the power of his home cinema system. He can also be found on Twitter: @timonsingh
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